The Magic of Skype

My boyfriend is deployed to what feels like the other side of the world.  A completely different time zone, and completely (well almost) different climate.  But through the wonders of skype I was able to see his smiling face this morning on my computer.  It is amazing how just hearing someones voice and seeing their smile can make things that you thought were unbearable a little less so.  

I am still on bed rest because of this phantom illness they have yet to solve.  Being on bed rest without the joy of having someone surprise you at lunch with a coffee or come home at the end of the day to snuggle is not easy.  But now that I know the possibility of skyping while he is gone it makes it a little more digestible. 

I have 3 specialist appointments this week, 3 of them to help determine what is causing me such discomfort, such unease, such pain to be honest.  It isn’t my RA, although that is just a nagging thing on top of it, and it isn’t a flu, it has been going non stop for approximately a month now.  I hope one of the specialists can figure this conundrum out. 

From there I’m not sure what I will do.  It will be just me until at least the end of April, which seems like an eternity from now. I might go home for some time, perhaps visit my sister.  Me and the dog might become a traveling side show of illness.  I just have to get through this week and then I will make some decisions.

Yours in Pain,

Ginny 

He is off

He is off.  

This morning I woke up at the crack of dawn, loaded the car and drove the love of my life to the air terminal to see him off on his longest deployment to date.  7 weeks is the planned time apart, with the option of it being extended.  I hate that extension, I hate the idea of him being away for much longer, mainly because I already hate the idea of him being away.  I miss him already and it has been all of 7 hours.  My puppy keeps going to the door to look for him, and it is breaking my heart.

I have always been an independent woman.  I have always been someone who considered herself able to do what she needs to and take care of herself, it was a huge part of my identity.  So why do I feel so lost now that he is gone. I have a hard time thinking of myself without him.  Even just hanging out with him, spending time together, now there seems to be a bit of void.  I will miss him, but I need to dust myself off and get on with this.

He is off. 

Yours in Pain,

Ginny